Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
