yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
