I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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