My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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