Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
