Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
