How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
