I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dick very happy bro
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
