That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
