i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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