Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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