Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
