Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
