i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
