wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
FUCK WHALES
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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