You're so nebulous sometimes
just tell him i said nine months
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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