I am in a vortex of obligation.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it glows. i had to have it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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