In the future we'll all be gay
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
