this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
