Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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