I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
