if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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