Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm passing your future prison.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
