I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
