If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
