What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
