Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
