She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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