no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
