i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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