She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize