The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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