I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
