At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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