I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
