remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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