he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize