i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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