To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Randomize
