Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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