You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
