my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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