New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize