My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
