Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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