My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
