be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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