Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
