I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
