Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
