i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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