I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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