I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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