who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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