thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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