Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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