I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize