i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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