And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
