He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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