He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
do nipples grow back?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize